11:35:01 PM Me: hello you!
11:35:11 PM E.: hello to you too!
11:35:17 PM Me: how are you?
11:35:32 PM E.: mmm...let's just say that 22 is my least favorite age so far. how about yourself?
11:36:02 PM Me: oh yes, i have not enjoyed most of this past year.
11:36:33 PM E.: well, you are not alone.
11:37:20 PM E.: on a scale from 1-10 with one being the best and 10 being the worst, this year gets a 6.5.
11:37:51 PM Me: hahaha! now you're making me want to rate all the years of my life.
11:38:34 PM E.: well, you might as well. we love to rate! put numbers to everything. objective > subjective. well, i disagree, but who am i
11:39:25 PM Me: oh, dear. so you're saying that this year is objectively bad?
11:41:18 PM E.: yes, i guess. but anyway, i just hate it because i'm confused. i have not lost any limbs or anything. it just seems a little out of reach. everything's foggy. what's your dilemma?
11:42:05 PM E.: that's why i've been absent a lot
11:42:32 PM Me: i keep wanting to turn time back. but that's not very practical. but see, i'd give last year a 10 out of 10, and this year is... maybe a 5, so ... um, it sucks.
11:43:39 PM E.: i would give my 21st year a 10. and if everything would have gradually become less than stellar, i probably wouldn't have noticed, but since it just seemed to happen overnight, i noticed, and i didn't take it well.
11:43:51 PM Me: yes, exactly.
11:43:57 PM E.: ah, so you understand! aw, miri. not a 5. what are we gonna do?
11:44:18 PM Me: climb back up, i guess.
11:44:25 PM E.: i lost my climbing gear
11:44:29 PM E.: now what do i do
11:44:41 PM Me: grow wings
11:44:56 PM E.: oh boy. looks like i'm going to be down here for awhile.
11:45:08 PM Me: i know, it seems difficult.
11:45:43 PM E.: i lost my confidence. i don't know how. it was just stolen. maybe i should report it missing.
11:46:00 PM Me: me too. maybe we could put out lost and found ads.
11:46:05 PM E.: or turn to self-help books. gah! call be bridget jones.
11:46:09 PM E.: *me
11:46:29 PM E.: that can be your job. you're the artistic one.
11:46:39 PM E.: i'll handle the phone calls and rewards.
11:46:48 PM Me: hey! :p
11:47:18 PM Me: well, i'll draw the ads if you finance the purchase of the self-help books
11:47:28 PM E.: it's under control.
11:47:33 PM Me: sounds like a plan
..

12:00:21 AM Me: and yes, i'm pretty picky. i've turned my nose up at jobs, so i guess i need to buy an elastic band and tie my nose down?
12:00:29 AM E.: i think i became full of myself. just a little. and perhaps for the only time in my life i was ever really confident. so, it was only natural that i was struck back down to my former state.
12:00:44 AM Me: i've been having that theory, too.
12:00:47 AM E.: ah, now that's the spirit! made me laugh, anyway. :)
12:01:44 AM Me: i've been trying to convince myself that it's good for me to feel like crap. well, maybe not good for me, but good for keeping that ego in check.
12:02:03 AM E.: just when you think you've hit bottom, it turns out that there was further to go. that's my personal favorite part of the whole mess. but honestly, i'm ready to turn this beast around. today i feel up to it. tomorrow, i will probably curl up with a blanket and hide from the world. we'll see.
12:02:47 AM E.: yeah, but the ego was kind of fun. and i wasn't really bad....just happy confident. people noticed, you know? now they notice, but they notice its abscence.
12:02:57 AM Me: yeah, i know.
12:03:05 AM Me: i thought people liked me better when i was confident, too.
12:03:11 AM E.: i feel the gossip. except it is quite possible that the majority of it exists in my head
12:03:55 AM Me: which really doesn't help when it's the other way around, cause you have even less confidence when other people go "you've gotten really shy. what happened?"
12:04:19 AM Me: i can't feel gossip, but i get paranoid that there is gossip.
12:04:57 AM E.: well, i think that's what i meant. there isnt anything to even say really. just that i seem...distant. other than that, i'm not very exciting.
12:05:46 AM Me: yes, i feel uninteresting, ignored because i'm uninteresting, and completely unmotivated to change that.
12:06:17 AM E.: i'm probably flattering myself to think it's even worthy of conversation. haha. ah well, might as well go completely mad. ~x(

...

12:38:43 AM Me: i think i'm ready to end our slightly bitter conversation about life. i think i need chocolate (ironically, dark chocolate) and maybe sleep.
12:39:18 AM E.: nice irony. i agree. sleep it is.
12:39:28 AM Me: goodnight!
12:39:38 AM Me: thanks for commiserating. :)
12:39:59 AM E.: oh, anytime
12:39:41 AM E.: sorry i couldn't be of more help, but as you know by now, you feel it, i feel it!
12:40:33 AM Me: yes, it does seem to work that way. something amazing needs to happen to one of us, that's all. ;)
12:40:53 AM E.: ooohhh. good thinking. now that doesn't sound so hard, does it?
12:41:10 AM E.: i think we can manage one miracle.
12:41:16 AM E.: between the two of us.
12:41:19 AM E.: i'll keep you posted
12:41:35 AM Me: yes, that seems much better when you put it that way.
12:41:51 AM Me: well, i'll get started on tracking down that miracle. :)
12:41:53 AM E.: for now, dear friend, it's good night and to hoping that there's a better tomorrow.
12:41:55 AM Me: goodnight!
12:41:58 AM E.: me too!
12:42:00 AM E.: goodnight!

there you go! i'm hunting for a miracle, because they happen to be buy-one-get-one-free. anyone seen any around?